|Posted by Benjamin Adams on January 31, 2013 at 7:40 PM|
Lots of comedians will start their set with where they are from and then proceed to spend a bit of time telling the audience how shit it is there.
In my experience I couldn't do that, It just wouldn't be honest, i fucking love Portsmouth. Yes it's a bit run down and there's no prospects for anyone living there BUT it's home. It hasn't REALLY been home for 4 years but living in London doesn't seem warm and cosy enough yet to call it HOME
At least in Portsmouth people don't have ideas above their station, they'll work in a shitty job and get on with it because that's what you do. Where as in London everyone wants more, everyone wants to be famous or important. London is where dick heads become creatives and creatives become dick heads.
London is like World Of Warcraft, you walk around and see lots of people with better shit than you but your not willing to put the time in to get that shit. Sure that's a niche reference but it's true so I'm keeping it in.
In London you get 20-30 somethings declaring they are "Young Professionals" they should save us time and just say "oh i'm a dick" then only other dicks would need to bother with them, "you're a dick? well i'm a dick too!" They're the kind of people who would buy an air freshener disguised as a rock because imagine the embarrassment of walking into a fresh smelling home and discovering that the reason for this is an AIR FRESHENER! ...sluts.
Even socks are too good for these London types, you can't move without seeing some tosspot in turn up jeans or chinos, loose loafers and ankles on show. Really? too cool for socks now are you? Sock's have ALWAYS been uncool but you wear them, it's what we do! Pants AND socks, that's your basic underwear. In school if you forget your kit then you have to do it in pants and socks, just pants would look fucking ridiculous.
YOLO, you only live once. That might be something these cunts say. I think people that say that have one too many lives, they should have none...none lives.
So basically, fuck off london, if you weren't tremendously awesome in every way except for the cunts inhabiting you then I'd leave.